that four letter
word while your hand
is wrapped around her waist.
Why I still think about your taste
I’ll never understand.
you keep saying I’m yours
but our distance tells me otherwise.
So why do I act surprised
when the excuses arrive again?
I keep trying to shut my door
knowing you’ll sneak back in.
But I’ll wake up with the sunrise
and count the spiders under my bed,
battling contradictions in my head.
You’ll contact me in the afternoon
and pretend you’ll visit very soon,
then you’ll repeat your signature phrase:
“I love you.”
But I know you don’t meant it, as always.
I woke up at 5 am
Realized I’m alone
and you’re 2,015 km away.
Maybe you’ll come around one day.
But for now, I’ll close my eyes
and drift off into my imagination….
missing you is a blessing in disguise
it means I can finally feel again.
We always want what we can never obtain
but I’ll take the pleasure with the pain,
hoping you’re waking up alone too,
and wondering if I dreamt of you.
Do not pretend to know me
or comprehend me
until you have ventured
into the deepest parts of my soul,
until you have tasted the bitterness
of my memories,
until you have confronted my demons
and sustained my scars.
Once you have seen everything within,
Your exploration of me can begin.
I know you thought of me today
When you visited my friend’s workplace
A small part of you was hoping
You would encounter my face.
I haven’t thought of yours in a long time.
Granted, when you do cross my mind,
A reminder of what I left behind,
You no longer take a hold of me,
You simply fleet right through,
A deleted memory. A faded hue.
Keep on thinking of me, then,
Because I guarantee
You will never see my face again.
They say it’s better to forgive than to forget
But who says I haven’t forgotten you yet?