Do not pretend to know me
or comprehend me
until you have ventured
into the deepest parts of my soul,
until you have tasted the bitterness
of my memories,
until you have confronted my demons
and sustained my scars.
Once you have seen everything within,
Your exploration of me can begin.
I know you thought of me today
When you visited my friend’s workplace
A small part of you was hoping
You would encounter my face.
I haven’t thought of yours in a long time.
Granted, when you do cross my mind,
A reminder of what I left behind,
You no longer take a hold of me,
You simply fleet right through,
A deleted memory. A faded hue.
Keep on thinking of me, then,
Because I guarantee
You will never see my face again.
They say it’s better to forgive than to forget
But who says I haven’t forgotten you yet?
I just want to stop breathing
For a little while,
And forget everything:
25 years young
Still writing love songs
But they fall on deaf ears.
Is anyone even listening?
It seems I've been walking
Down this path of tears
No one can find me,
Hiding in my insecurities,
Gasping from asphyxiation.
Here, there is no oxygen;
Just the scent
Of death's temptation.
He says, his eyes
piercing through mine.
How could I stay the same
When I have felt his soul
and my heart intertwine?
I wish I could leave
my emotions behind.
I do not reply
but I want to cry:
“I shiver every time you touch my skin,
Although, it’s usually by accident.
you talk all about how your date went
and you expect me to sit there and grin?
To encourage you to destroy me
While you and I both deny
our incomprehensible chemistry?
you don’t miss when my knees were on the floor
I see you lick your lips when you enter my door.”
He sighs, “You’re so cold”
-No, I’m just too old…
Too old to waste my life on this.”
He walks away, I blow a final kiss.
I am forever changing, it’s what humans do;
So, this is the last poem I will waste on you.