that four letter
word while your hand
is wrapped around her waist.
Why I still think about your taste
I’ll never understand.
you keep saying I’m yours
but our distance tells me otherwise.
So why do I act surprised
when the excuses arrive again?
I keep trying to shut my door
knowing you’ll sneak back in.
But I’ll wake up with the sunrise
and count the spiders under my bed,
battling contradictions in my head.
You’ll contact me in the afternoon
and pretend you’ll visit very soon,
then you’ll repeat your signature phrase:
“I love you.”
But I know you don’t meant it, as always.
Do not pretend to know me
or comprehend me
until you have ventured
into the deepest parts of my soul,
until you have tasted the bitterness
of my memories,
until you have confronted my demons
and sustained my scars.
Once you have seen everything within,
Your exploration of me can begin.
As she kisses him goodbye
On the cheek
A shudder drives through me.
I sense the hurt as his eye
follows her to her apartment door.
I feel his heart shatter
into a multitude of pieces
of spending a lifetime with her.
And I smell her sorrow, her shame
In the prideful air she takes around him.
Donning a disguise
So he doesn’t see her pain.
I wonder if we will ever be the same…
A year has passed since she walked away
Break-ups get easier, or so they say.
But how to extinguish a fire
That has engulfed your soul for three decades?
The mind adapts, but memories won’t fade.
I still remember
The first time I saw his soul.
The moon reflected
The Sun’s embers.
Full, bright, gleaming.
Yet his tears were streaming
His heart was a black hole.
I tried to point out the stars
Their infinite beauty
But his eyes were blind
Gazing into the abyss.
They finally found me
His planet met mine
We collided in the darkness.
“I miss him so much.”
His cry created earthquakes
Which shattered my surface.
Our cores touched
Death is a mistake
Barely cured by my kiss.
But at that moment,
I was certain
That our attraction
Was stronger than gravity:
For his love was finally free.
You inhibit the raindrops
From pouring out of your eyes
As clouds in your mind thunder
And you feel your heart surrender.
You know if he senses emotion
He will escape in revulsion
Because he evades all types of attachment
In fear of the inevitable disappointment.
He does not understand the sensation
Of dancing in the raindrops formulating around him.
It reminds him that he too is merely human
That he too can endure such desperation.
But mostly, it reminds him that you are real
That human connection is a learning process
And you cannot estimate its failure or success.
Inconsideration creates exasperation
The clouds explode in the collision
Tears flow savagely onto the stone
That once used to be your heart.
The storm departs;
You are alone.