Change

“You’ve changed.”

He says, his eyes

piercing through mine.

How could I stay the same

When I have felt his soul

and my heart intertwine?

I wish I could leave

my emotions behind.

I do not reply

but I want to cry:

“I shiver every time you touch my skin,

Although, it’s usually by accident.

you talk all about how your date went

and you expect me to sit there and grin?

To encourage you to destroy me

While you and I both deny

our incomprehensible chemistry?

Don’t pretend

you don’t miss when my knees were on the floor

I see you lick your lips when you enter my door.”

He sighs, “You’re so cold”

-No, I’m just too old…

Too old to waste my life on this.”

He walks away, I blow a final kiss.

I am forever changing, it’s what humans do;

So, this is the last poem I will waste on you.

Arms wide open

You held out your hand for a fist pump

But I immediately went in for a hug.

Why am I like this?

All I wanted was a kiss.

You keep saying that you want to be

Just friends

But I’ve seen how your eyes devour me.

Now, your cologne lingers

On my leather jacket.

You go off to sleep with her;

I lock myself in the closet.

I keep hoping one day,

When you’re done playing,

You will have the courage to look back in.

There is no guarantee

But you might just find me

Waiting for you, with arms wide open.

Damaged Dreams

I have had this recurring dream

It has plagued me since fourteen.

In it, all I hear are my mother’s screams

Some things are better left unseen.

She’s begging me to look away

Trying to keep me innocent

Just for one more day,

But I can smell the scent

Of smoke, blood and gasoline

I feel like I’m in a movie scene.

I keep staring straight at the rubble

Of the building facing our own,

Hoping we’re safe in our little bubble,

Praying the jets will leave us alone.

The dream doesn’t really have an ending:

just an image of my inner child fading.

Lately, I’ve been having a different dream

Where I’m staring into a machine

at little blue thumb-ups on a screen.

There’s a video of a politician

Saying exactly what he means

The world is green, the air is clean.

He preaches love, kindness and serenity

And all of Earth’s beings enjoy prosperity.

I wake up from my hallucinations

To missiles, gun fights, executions

Humans will want what they do not need

They are but victims of their own greed.

Now that I am finally awake,

I understand what is at stake

The blue fingers point to a virtual sky

I wave to the little girl in my dream: goodbye.